There are moments here in Mexico that I feel very homesick. It’s hard being away from family, friends and everything you know. Even harder still when it’s hard to communicate with the people around you. There are many times during conversations when I feel completely like an outsider. Life here is very different from in the US. People here often work six days a week (12 hours each day) even though their salary is for five 8 hour days. A pair of ‘decent’ shoes is about what one person makes here in a day. If I worked the same amount in the states as I do here, I could earn enough at minimum wage to have a nice apartment, a car, etc. Here however, there is just enough to pay for utilities and a little more. If we didn’t have a house here that was already paid for we couldn’t afford to live here.
Today, on two different occasions, I was asked the same question that everyone seems to love asking me. “Do you like Mexico?” If I hesitate at all with a response (or say, “sort of”) people try convince me of why Mexico is wonderful. The sad thing is that these people really believe it. Yes, there are some parts that are beautiful, but as a whole, Mexico City is not beautiful. It’s the same as most VERY large cities – dirty, noisy, rude, etc. When I try explain why I miss my country and how nice it is, they look at me like I’m crazy, except when I mention my kids & family, and only then do they understand.
Right now, I feel rather traitorous because I want to go back to the states and I don’t want to be here anymore. However, my husband can’t go back right now – which leads to these feelings of being torn. I don’t want those feelings to turn to resentment.