Changes

Posted on 17/06/2007. Filed under: Frustration, Relationships |

On Friday I made a rather difficult decision, one that ended things with someone who has been special to me over many years. It was hard, because we have always been good friends and have enjoyed spending time together. The hard part is that he and I wanted or needed different things, and while he was content with the status quo, I was not fully content with it. I am one of those people who likes to touch/hold/cuddle or otherwise show physical affection to someone who I care about romantically, but he is not one of those people who need that much… nothing against either of us, just different styles of showing affection. However, after much soul-searching I realized it is something that I can’t do without.

My parents were always very warm and affectionate to each other, holding hands, giving each other hugs, kisses, etc. on a fairly regular basis. I grew up with the belief that people who love each other are physically affectionate with each other. I also grew up believing that an active sex life was a normal part of a healthy relationship. My whole family is one with a rather high drive towards showing physical affection either through simple touches or in more private ways. So, dating someone who came from a family that wasn’t that physically affectionate was a bit of an adjustment. This is not to say that he didn’t enjoy these things, he just didn’t need them or want them as much as I did. Truth be told while this was a little difficult for me, it didn’t really become a problem until I was stressed about some big changes at work…. and then my need to be cuddled/held/etc. really came out… at the same time, my penchant for venting also was there, and me talking about work every day was bothersome to him, and caused him to pull away a bit, which just made me more stressed – because now not only was I stressing about work, but I was also stressing about us.

I had tried talking to him about the problem on several occasions and finally sent him an email about everything on Friday morning…. He sent me one in reply, which I read after work. Between what I wrote and his reply it was apparent to me that we just didn’t look at relationships in the same way, and we just weren’t meant for a long-term romantic relationship. So then there was the hard part… telling him that. There really is no easy way to tell someone you care about (who also cares about you) that things won’t work and you don’t want to date them anymore. But I did it. He certainly seemed to be surprised at my decision and probably hurt by it… and that makes me sad, but I couldn’t see any other option. I will miss him terribly, but I know he won’t ever believe that.

Now I’m single again, and not looking to date anytime in the near future… actually not sure if I even want to try dating again…. One of my friends has said I will be back to dating before three weeks is up, but I’m not so sure. Anyone taking bets on how long it will be? Personally I think it will be a long time before I date anyone.

Advertisements

Make a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

One Response to “Changes”

RSS Feed for Random Thoughts, Rants and Mental Meanderings Comments RSS Feed

It depends on how you spend your time.

If you “go out” on a regular basis, it will be before the 4th of July.

If you go out once a week or less, it will be before August 1st.

If you don’t go out, but still grocery shop and go to work, it will be before Labor Day.

If you shut yourself in like a Hermit, not working and sustaining yourself on little balls of hair shed by your cat, the men will still find you by Thanksgiving. 🙂


Where's The Comment Form?

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 137 other followers

  • Cafe Aletris

  • Copywrite Notice

    © Aletris Vazquez and Random Thoughts, Rants and Mental Meanderings, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Aletris Vazquez and Random Thoughts, Rants and Mental Meanderings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Liked it here?
Why not try sites on the blogroll...

Are You Meant for Something Better?

I committed myself to a number of things in order to live a full and prosperous life: Follow my dreams, wish on rainbows and never wear sweatpants in public.

Lake Superior Spirit

Blogging from the Upper Peninsula North Woods...

One Book on the Shelf

The Bookshops of London

101 Books

Reading my way through Time Magazine's 100 Greatest Novels since 1923 (plus Ulysses)

The Librarian Who Doesn't Say Shhh!

Opening books to open minds.

smitten kitchen

Fearless cooking from a tiny NYC kitchen.

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

%d bloggers like this: