Help! Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!!
Ever notice that just when you think things can’t get any more hectic that life somehow finds a way to set the pace way beyond a run and more toward that speed that would send George Jetson flipping around the treadmill? Work has been rather hectic since we’re a little short staffed and then, this last week 2 of the techs wound up calling out sick. Wednesday was hell since it was just me and the fill-in Pharmacist for the first couple of hours we were open (and Wednesday mornings are usually very busy). We did get a cashier from the front of the store about an hour after opening thankfully. So we at least had someone there to ring up sales and take patient information from people who were dropping off their prescriptions.
In addition to the hectic work schedule I’ve been trying to find a decent apartment in a decent location that won’t cost an arm and a leg. Then of course there is the need to spend time with my kids, and with my boyfriend.
About 2 months ago I got an email from an ex-boyfriend of mine who had told me he didn’t ever want to hear from me again. He was letting me know that his email address had changed. It was very confusing for me, because I had been deeply in love with him and had wanted to eventually marry him, but he was never comfortable with his family knowing about me. (He was uncomfortable about how to tell them the woman he’s dating had 5 kids – or at least that was part of it, though I’m not really sure how true that is.) When he wrote I was already involved with someone else and hearing from him brought back all the hurt of rejection from someone I loved. It’s hard to understand why someone would write after saying they never wanted to hear from you again….
I know he did love me, but it wasn’t enough to overcome whatever was holding him back from moving forward with the relationship with me. It’s hard to have someone who you loved and cared about write after things are over and you’ve started a relationship with someone else. I know he would often read my profile when we were not dating and he would be upset when it would show I had moved on with someone new….
The thing is, once someone tells me it’s over and I’ve had a good cry I wipe away my tears and go on with life. I know some girls take months or more before they get back to dating, but with all the things that have happened in my life I’ve gotten accustomed to picking up and moving on because I’ve had to. So I guess it’s shocking for someone to see me back out dating soon after we’ve broken things off. It must lead them to question the depth of my love, which I guess I can understand, but what’s gone is gone and the sooner you accept it and move on, the sooner you get back to living life. That isn’t to say that I shut out any feelings for that person, but that I set those feelings aside and don’t spend my time wishing for someone I can’t have.
I am lucky to have someone in my life now who accepts me for who I am and everything that comes with being involved in my life. Every time something happens in my life that would make other boyfriends pull away he’s there for me.